


Day 5: Secret Santa

by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)



Series: 12 Days of Spideypool Christmas [5]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Party, Christmas Presents, Embarrassed Peter Parker, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-30 01:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/pseuds/MsCaptainWinchester
Summary: Peter thought the Secret Santa exchange was supposed to be joke gifts, but with every normal present that opens, he realizes his mistake. Instead of fessing up to his mistake, he decides to hide forever. Because that will work.





	Day 5: Secret Santa

“I love this paper,” Jessica said as she admired the black-wrapped box that looked like it was covered in fancy chalk fonts of holiday sayings. It was topped in a glittery silver bow that looked like it came from a Sak’s. Peter’s spidey sense had started tingling after the third present had been opened, but this final one before Wade’s only confirmed what he had already suspected.

He fought the urge to build a web hammock in the highest corner of Avengers Tower he could find and hide there forever. That would be too obvious, possibly draw attention to him, so instead, he snuck through the crowd of costumed heroes and ridiculous holiday sweaters—Pietro's sweater was so bright a blue you could probably see it from space and covered in dangling dreidels. Peter would have loved it if he wasn’t too busy trying not to die of embarrassment—and into the hallway that led to the kitchen.

“Where are you going? The presents aren’t done yet,” Clint asked, stopping him in his tracks. The one time Clint was observant, of course.

“I uh... just want to get another drink,” Peter said, holding his still-full beer up and hoping Clint wouldn’t notice it wasn’t empty.

Clint didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t stop Peter from walking past him. Peter escaped into the kitchen, waited a few seconds until he heard Wade exclaim over his own paper. “Hello Kitty! Oh Em Gee, I don’t even care what’s inside. This paper is present enough.” Peter cringed at the booming quality of his voice and slipped back into the hallway, checking that no one was watching before he darted across the hall to the library door and slipped inside. He didn’t need to see Wade open his gift. Just knowing what was under that paper was embarrassing enough.

“Should never have agreed to this Secret Santa thing,” he muttered to himself as he thwipped to the ceiling and pulled out his phone. He knew Doreen was live-tweeting the final Secret Santa gift unwrapping party. He pulled up her twitter feed, already cringing as he waited for the photo of Wade opening his gift to pop up.

And there it was, Wade holding up his brand new Spider-Man lunchbox and thermos. Peter curled in on himself with a groan of embarrassment. Kate’s and Gwen’s faces on either side of Wade in the picture said it all. What had he been thinking wrapping up his own merch to give to a grown ass adult. No wonder none of them ever treated him like a grown-up even after he’d told them he was working on his doctorate.

“Welp, I guess I’ll just spend the rest of the party in here, then,” he told the empty room before taking a giant swig of his beer.

And he did, at least until Tony came into the room looking for his cigars and glanced up from the sideboard to spot PEter on the ceiling. “Everything alright, Webs?”

“Yeah, I just uh… had to call my aunt,” Peter lied, dropping onto the ground again and tucking his phone into a jeans pocket.

“Uh huh. Your Secret Santa gift is waiting for you under the tree. Maybe go open it before Miles does it for you? Kid thinks if it says Spider-Man on it, he gets to open it whether its for him or not.”

Peter almost didn’t want to open his own gift after the disaster of a present he’d given Wade in the exchange, but he nodded agreement and slunk out of the library anyway. There was a present waiting for him under the tree and likely someone waiting to watch him open it.

The party was no longer gathered around the tree for the exchange when he walked into the common room, but a few people watched him make his way to the tree from clustered groups of three or four people scattered through the room and spilling down the hall into the kitchen. Peter tried not to pay attention to the eyes on him as he found the small package with his name on it wrapped up in Spider-Man holiday paper. When he ripped the paper off, he was amazed by what he found in the box.

An original Nintendo Gameboy, one that looked new in the box. He had thought it was strange that he’d already been given three game cartridges in the weeks leading up to the holiday party, since he lost his old Gameboy in high school, but now the other gifts made sense. He was excited to open it up and play, but a quick glance at Deadpool across the room talking animatedly with Doreen and Gwen brought his mood back down immediately. He tucked the box under his arm and slunk away to find Jessica, hoping she could tell him who he needed to thank. He fully intended to leave once he found out, because the last thing he needed was to stay long enough to bump into Wade and have to admit that he was the one that bought him his ridiculous gift.

-

Jessica said she didn’t remember who his Secret Santa was, but a glint in her eye as she told him made him think she was lying. He didn’t press her. He could text Doreen later to find out who hadn’t been named and thank the person privately. Just then, he wanted nothing more than to escape. “I think I’m going to head out. Merry Christmas,” he told Jessica.

She returned the sentiment with a kiss to his cheek and a mischievous gleam to her eyes. He slipped out of the kitchen where he’d found her and headed for the coat closet. It was only as he turned the corner that he regretted not just finding a window and webbing home, coat be damned.

Wade was leaning against the coat closet, his Secret Santa present dangling from his finger, a grin firmly on his handsome face. Unlike Peter, he hadn’t bothered wearing his mask. “Trying to run away before I can say thank you for my gift?” he asked.

Peter blushed so hard he could feel it in his toes. He automatically ducked his head, sabotaging any attempt to hide his embarrassment with his mask. “I uh... I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know it was you, Webs. Process of elimination.”

Peter could feel a cold sweat forming on the back of his neck and up his arms. “I thought they were supposed to be gag gifts, I swear. I’ll get you a normal present as soon as the stores open again. I’m so sorry for making you open my stupid merch,” he tried, but Wade straightened and stalked closer to him with a frown of confusion.

“I don’t want another present. I love my new lunchbox! I’m totally bringing this on missions with me. It’s the perfect size for stakeout snacks, and I can even bring warm coffee!” He held the metal lunchbox up higher and opened it to show Peter how much space was in it. He looked genuinely enthusiastic about the present, no hint of teasing in his tone.

Peter’s brain short-circuited. “Wait, you like it?” he asked after a long moment of silence.

“Of course, Webs! You couldn’t have gotten me a better present, unless you decided to give me a kiss instead. Ooh, or maybe a giant fluffy blanket with your face on it. That would have been great for cuddling underneath. Next year,” he said, closing the lunchbox up and dropping it to his side like all of this was completely normal.

“I… I really thought it was a joke gift. I can’t believe you like it.”

“What’s not to like? My favorite person’s face on a sturdy metal box big enough to carry my lunch and act as an improvised weapon? Best of all worlds.”

Peter continued to stare at Wade without knowing what to say. His brain felt like it was trying to reboot, but kept encountering errors. Wade booped his nose with an amused smile, causing him to blink out of his stupor. “How about I walk you home, and you can tell me what you thought of your new Gameboy on the way,” he said.

Peter frowned down at the box under his arm. “How’d you know I got a Gameboy?”

“I bought it for you, silly.” Wade pulled open the coat closet and pulled out first Peter’s coat, and then his own. He wound Peter’s scarf around his neck and helped him into his coat with a goofy smile on his face. Peter was still processing this new information and let Wade dress him without comment.

“I thought two people weren’t allowed to be each others’ Secret Santa.”

“I might have cheated to get your name. Miss Drew likes diamonds more than she lets on,” he explained as he ushered Peter into the elevator and pushed the button for the Ground Floor.

“You bribed Jess with diamonds to get my name? That’s… why?”

“So I could spoil you, baby boy. You could use a good spoiling.” He held onto the elevator railing next to Peter’s hip, leaning into his personal space.

“How do you know I’m not already spoiled?”

“Your coat’s missing three buttons and the draw string on your hood is gone. If someone’s taking care of you, they’re doing a shitty job of it. Besides, it’s not like anyone else knows you well enough to get you something as good as I did.”

Peter blushed, glancing down at the box in his hand again. “You’re not wrong. I can’t wait to break this thing open and get to some hardcore Zelda.”

“Didn’t know you were into roleplay, Webs.” Wade waggled his non-existent eyebrows at Peter as the doors opened and they walked into the lobby together.

Peter huffed a laugh. “That’s not what I was talking about.”

“It could be, though. I bet I could pull a Princess Peach outfit together pretty quick, just give me the go-ahead.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Peter told him. But when Wade tangled his fingers with Peter’s as they exited Avengers Tower, Peter let him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want writing updates from me, you can follow me on Twitter [@RonsPigwidgeon](https://twitter.com/RonsPigwidgeon), Tumblr at [MsCaptainWinchester](https://mscaptainwinchester.tumblr.com/), or Pillowfort at [MsCaptainWinchester](https://www.pillowfort.io/MsCaptainWinchester).
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell about Spideypool with me, join the 18+ Discord server I co-mod, [Isn't It Bromantic](https://discord.gg/cfZEbNv)!


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